Badonkadonk
by BarbequeStain
Summary: Why can’t things just be simple for once? Like they were that day in the oubliette… CxW somewhat AU OOC


**AN: Sorry for this… but as a die hard Will/Caleb fan I just had to write it… This is takes place after Caleb comes out of the cave in the episode 'O is for Obedience' and Cornelia comes up to him and he walks away… It got me thinking and I came up with this. The language in this fic is kind of strong so if you think I should put it under M please tell me and I will.**

**Badonkadonk**

"Caleb?" Pause. Cornelia. Why isn't it Will? Why isn't it ever Will?

"I need to get back to Meridian. Now." I push Cornelia away. Will and I never talk anymore. She's always off with Matt, and Cornelia's always hanging around me. Did that moment all those months ago mean nothing to her?

"I'll come with you!" Please, don't. I don't want to talk to you right now. Will would be nice to talk to. She's the only one who somewhat knows what I'm feeling, what with that horrible father of hers.

"He just needs time." Yeah, time. Time would be nice. I have so much to think about. Nerissa's my mother? That seems so… so impossible. Did she just pretend to love my father? Or was it the real thing? Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't things just be simple for once? Like they were that day in the oubliette…

**Flashback**

_There she was, sitting over there like nothing was wrong. Of course something's wrong! We're stuck in a deep, dark hole with a smelly smuggler! How can she act like this? It had been hours since our last fight, at least, I think it was. There's no way to tell time. Who knows how long we've been down here… Well, anyway, she had been ignoring me ever since. All I was doing was trying to find a way out of here! And she wouldn't help because that stupid green thing smells! This is so frustrating!_

"_Why are you staring at me?" My eyes quickly refocus to see her standing a few feet away from me. I was staring at her?_

"_I wasn't staring at you. Why would I?"_

"_I don't know why you would, I just know you were. It's kind of creepy." She's glaring at me; I can tell she doesn't like me that much. _

_Wait- what! Do I _want_ her to like me? Of course I don't! She's an insufferable girly-girl! _

_Well… she is kind of cute…_

_No, Caleb! Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! _

"_Wow. You really _are_ crazy." Why would she say that? And why does my head—oh. I got to stop banging my head on the walls; I'm already loosing enough brain cells as it is._

"_I'm not crazy. I'm just eccentric." She raised her left eyebrow at me. She raised her eyebrow at me! "I really want to strangle you right now." _

_Oh good job, Caleb, now she's never going to like you. _

_Ahh! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!_

"_Why are you pulling out your hair?" I slowly turned to face her; she had an unreadable look on her face. "Your poor hair! It's the only good feature on you! Why are you ruining it? Actually, that's not true. I like your eyes too, they're really green." Right after Will said that, she slapped a hand over her mouth. Now it's my turn to raise an eyebrow—HA! "Let's just forget I said that."_

_Now I'm smirking, uh-huh, no way am I going to forget that. Blackmail! "You think I'm sexy, don't you?" _

"_Why you egregious swollen-headed windbag!"_

"_What!" Oh, now I'm angry. _

"_You heard me." It is so on._

"_At least I'm not a cheap, sleazy whore." Oh, she's pissed now._

"_You're a vaunting, puffed-up ass!"_

"_Promiscuous nymphomaniac!"_

"_Bombastic dolt!"_

"_Filthy harlot!"_

"_Vainglorious nitwit!"_

"_Libertine twat!"_

"_Hifalutin nincompoop!"_

"_Nincompoop? You called me a nincompoop?" During our verbal face-off, we had moved closer together. Out faces were only a few inches apart._

"_Well you called me a twat!" I smirked, I so won. "Why are you smirking? It's not funny!" _

"_I won." She brought up her hand, presumably to slap me, but before she could I grabbed and kissed her._

_I kissed her! I have no idea why I did—I guess I was just acting on impulse. Surprisingly, she responded right away. I backed her into the wall of the oubliette and we were getting all hot and heavy—than the worst happened._

_Blunk attacked me. He attacked me! He grabbed onto my head and started pulling me away from Will. "Blunk! What is your problem?"_

"_Blunk hears footsteps!" Sigh. I really hate this creature._

"_Blunk, nobody is coming—"_

"_Will?" Oh. Guess somebody was. I look over to the girl to see her smile then look up._

"_Hay Lin, I'm down here!" _

"_Catch!" A round, pink think started falling down towards Will. Right before she caught it she said, "Guardians unite!" And I was surrounded by pink._

**End Flashback**

Well… as simple as it could be in that situation.

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**AN: Okay, like I said before, if the language is too bad for a T rating please tell me and I'll up it to an M. Why is this one-shot called Badonkadonk? Because I was listening to Honky Tonk Badonkadonk while writing this… ha. I think Caleb and Will are really OCC here… **

**Pretty much all of Wills insults mean egotistical jerk and Caleb's insults mean whore… or something along those lines. If you want to know the true meaning for those words go to www. Dictionary .com. **

**Sorry if I got carried away with insults… They're all just so cool sounding! Haha, I bet they're all grammatically incorrect… So sorry about that. Please review and tell me what you thought!**


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